Running With The Moon
by Bandit X
Summary: Let me take you back to when Remus, Sirius, James and Peter were teens. I wrote one for Remus! Lupin is my fav character, and it's time for him to have a bit of romance. Discontinued
1. Default Chapter

Remus J. Lupin stared broodingly into the fire from his favorite chair in the Gryffindor common room. It was Friday night, technically the start of the Christmas holidays. He had chosen to stay at school with his best friends, Sirius Black and James Potter. Peter had gone home to his mother this year, and Remus could honestly say he didn't mind. Peter Pettigrew, he thought a bit ruefully, would most definitely be just as tormented as Severus Snape if it weren't for James, Sirius, and himself. He only added himself as an afterthought, because when he had come to school five years ago he had fully intended on staying as far away from everyone as possible. So goes the life of his kind. But on that fateful train ride to Hogwarts, he had met Sirius and James. Sirius was a good-looking guy, his long-ish, dark hair falling casually across his eyes with aristocratic grace. James had jet-black hair that was stubbornly untidy and laughing hazel eyes to match his ever-present smile that was nearly a smirk. He instantly liked them both, Sirius for his charm and fun attitude toward life, James for his quick wit and the sense of companionship he was surrounded with. Of course he tried to keep them from knowing him secret, fearing their rejection as much as he thought they would fear him. He made excuses for his monthly absence, telling them his mother had taken ill (what with her weak immune system and all), he told them these little white lies, hoping to retain their brotherly love, as it were. Of course they figured it out in no time. They hadn't rejected him at all; they became Animagi. Three years of difficult spells and training; all for him. Sirius became Padfoot, a great black dog. James became Prongs, the handsome stag. Peter became a rat; Wormtail. "Only fitting", Remus thought savagely. Somehow he'd never considered Peter as much a friend as James and Sirius.

During his change, they would run with the moon. He kept his mind when he was with them… no longer did he long to bite; to damn others to his curse. The guilt of his betrayal was starting to drive him crazy. He didn't want to betray Dumbledore, the only one who would take him. But he pushed these feelings aside, knowing that once it was time again for the change, he would run in the baleful moonlight among comrades in animal guise. Losing them would be to lose everything. Sadness filled him, knowing deep within himself, not even their friendship could fully fill this void, this uncompleted soul. He allowed these thoughts to engulf him, causing tears to form in his blue-gray eyes. He needed more. "I want more" Remus admitted regretfully.   

"Remus"?

A light, musical voice called him out of his reverie.

"Cassandra? What are you doing up at this hour"? He questioned the girl, who had come down the Girl's Dormitory steps without a sound.

"I was going to ask you the same thing. I couldn't sleep; I noticed how aloof you've been as of late. I thought you might be down here." She said, coming around the front of his chair and kneeling on the floor beside him. How lovely she looked, her deep, chestnut hair flowing down her back and those gorgeous crystalline blue eyes looking up at him. Cassandra was in the same year as Remus, and they'd gotten to be close friends in their five years of Hogwarts.

"It's nothing Cassandra, really. You shouldn't worry about me so much. I'm fine."

She narrowed her eyes slightly and calmly stated, "You tell me one thing Remus, but your eyes will always give you away. Don't act like Sirius."

"What's that supposed to mean"? Remus asked a little defensively. He made it a point to be loyal to his friends.

"Don't be mad," she laughed softly, "I only meant you'll never get away with lying, however many times James and Sirius do. I don't mean anything bad, just that you shouldn't try to lie if people can tell you're hiding something. Not to me at any rate." She added with a smile. 

"Really," he began, giving her an appraising look, "and what makes you so special Cassandra O' Brian"?

She stood up and with one liquid movement was on the arm of the chair, her hand upon his shoulder. 

"You've made it all too easy for me to tell when something is on your mind."

Remus thought she looked a little sad. "There's nothing you, or anyone can do."

"Please tell me your troubles, Remus. Whatever your keeping bottled up, it's tearing you apart."

He was deeply touched by her words. Touched and scarred. He could never tell her. Finding someone to understand it was a rare thing- he couldn't hope she'd be as accepting as the others. Remus wanted to tell her suddenly, he wanted to pour out his troubles to her and make them all go away. He longed for her to know, to be… 

(…To be loved by her.)

A small but rapidly growing part of him said. The thought hit Remus hard, making him sit up straighter and look to Cassandra.

            "I want to tell you. I really do, Cassandra, but you'd never…"

            "I will understand Remus," she interrupted. "In fact I think I already know."

He leapt up off the chair, whirling around on Cassandra.

            "You couldn't possibly know or comprehend." He quietly raged, startling himself a bit. Cassandra raised her eyebrows slightly, and in a cool, measured voice said,

            "Remus, you have no reason to insult me or to get mad. I came down here worried about you, and I'm sorry if I've offended you in some way. I'll go if you like."

Her lack of surprise and something in her voice intrigued and calmed him. But he had to ask why. He didn't want her to leave him here, alone with his fears.

            "No, don't go, but why do you worry about me so much? Why lose sleep over trivial nonsense"?

She looked at him, as though considering her answer carefully before voicing it. After awhile, she spoke.

            "Well, it isn't trivial nonsense, Remus. Isn't it obvious? I thought by now someone of your intellectual caliber would have noticed."

            "Noticed what"? He asked, wondering what she could mean.

            "I've known you for nearly five years now, and I think I've…"

She broke off, looking for the first time like what she was- an unsure girl of fifteen.

            "Yes"? He gently prompted, feeling more like himself than he had all day. What was it she was getting at?

She took a deep breath, and tried to calm her nerves.

            "Remus," she began slowly, "I think I've fallen in love with you."

For a moment Remus was speechless. Why hadn't he seen that coming? He considered the information she had just admitted to him, and then sat back down. He smiled.

            "You needn't be ashamed," he said, turning her face towards him once more, "for if love is blind, we are both in the darkness of each other's shadow."

He enjoyed the after effect of his poetic side as Cassandra's eyes widened while what he confessed to her sunk in. She smiled. Remus pulled her down onto his lap and, without thinking he kissed her. She was naturally surprised, but then she succumbed to his embrace, letting him hold her. Then Remus became aware of what he was doing, and pulled away. He turned his face away from Cassandra. She sounded both confused and hurt. "Remus…"

            "Don't. You'll only make this harder for both of us."

            "But what…"

"I can't say. I don't want to hurt you."

Cassandra seemed to be caught in a battle between her mind and her heart. In the end, it was her heart that told her it was right, that he should know.

"I know what you are Remus."

He turned abruptly to face her.

"What"? He questioned fearfully.

She leaned closer to him and gently whispered into his ear

            "Werewolf."

Remus's eyes widened in shock and fear bordering on terror. He couldn't speak. But Cassandra wasn't finished.

            "I've always known. I'm not afraid, and it doesn't matter what you are. You're still Remus Lupin, and I love you."

Remus was still trying to put what had just happened together. When he finally spoke, he said

            "You honestly don't care? You know and it doesn't bother you? You haven't told anyone"?

            "No. I care for you- I wouldn't betray you." She kissed his neck softly. 

            "Love me, Remus."

This was surely heaven. Cassandra teased him a little more, gently biting him, making him moan. This completed him. This was all he'd ever wanted- this ecstasy. "Just don't leave me", he thought as they formed their own silent pack of loyalty to one another, "never leave. Yes, I love you Cassandra"… They were running with the moon.


	2. Early Mornings and PostBreakfast Fights

            Remus woke up the next morning extremely satisfied with his life. He was the first one up, so he sat in bed listening to the gentle breathing of Sirius and James for a while before waking them up. He went over to James first, and received a bleary, one-eyed squint.

            "Good Morning to you, Mr. Moony. I trust you slept well"? Asked James

            "Why yes I did, Mr. Prongs. Did you"? Remus replied, smiling.

            "But of course. Shall we roust Mr. Padfoot"? 

            "Quite."

James sat up, grinning broadly, and they got up to throw back Sirius's bed hangings.  They received a shock, however, when Sirius- fully dressed- pulled the drapes and addressed Remus. 

            "So Moony, old friend, where were you last night"? 

Remus was forced to do a bit of quick thinking, and for lack of a better excuse, just said

            "I don't know exactly, Sirius- guess I just didn't fancy sleep until later in the night."

Sirius smirked, and then with a flick of his long-ish hair, turned to James, who was looking rather confused, and with the air of talking about a naughty child began his inquiries:

            "When did he come up, James"?

James still looked mildly baffled for a moment, when a look of understanding cleared his expression,

            "I'd say midnight. Wonder what on Earth he was doing…"

Sirius nodded, then turned to Remus-

            "… Or _who_ he was doing."

On a different occasion, Remus would have blushed and stammered his way through this conversation, but not today. He was still so filled with happiness from the previous night that he didn't mind.

            "Hmm… quite unlike you to miss a step, Sirius. I didn't get _that_ far. Cassandra 

O' Brian isn't one to jump without looking first."

The bluntness of his statement had the desired effect on his friends. They stared for a moment; gaping. Then James through an arm around him, sniffing

            "You're growing up so fast!"

The three friends maintained mock severity, and then burst into laughter.

When Cassandra woke the next morning, she was greeted with a big smile from Lily Evans- one of her best friends. 

"So, what were you doing downstairs last night"? She questioned playfully.

Cassandra hadn't realized Lily had still been awake. This was an unforeseen development. 

            "For you information, Lily-Flower, I was having a lovely chat with Remus Lupin."

Lily laughed. "Don't call me Lily-Flower, Sassy-Cassy. Remus, eh? He's such a gentleman-good for you! Obviously the best choice out of The Fabulous Four."

The Fabulous Four- Lily's nickname for James and his friends. Quite fitting.

            "Oh, stop it Lily Evans- you know you absolutely love James Potter."

            "Yes, I suppose I do." 

Both girls laughed and began to dress, chatting about boys, classes, and anything else that came to mind. Cassandra smiled. What a wonderful life she had. 'Oh, Remus', Cassandra thought, 'your kiss is like sweet fire, and it's still running through my veins!'

Remus went down to breakfast with more bounce in his step than usual, hardly noticing Sirius's quiet, reserved mood that was so uncharacteristic of him. He might have noticed had it not been for Lucius Malfoy- Their arch nemesis. 

"Well if it isn't Potty, Loony and Blackheart."

James laughed. 

            "You might want to work on that last one, you blonde dungeon-rat."

Lucius reddened slightly and hotly retorted

            "Was that the best you could come up with, Mudblood-Lover?"

James and Remus whipped out their wands, but Sirius was the quickest.

            "_Mobiliarbus!_"

A stray book someone had left in the hall suddenly flung itself at Lucius's head. The book didn't hit him, but rather sailed close by his ear, striking the wall. He looked at Sirius with an intense fury and hurled a spell towards James, hoping to catch at least one of them off guard.

            "_Rictusempra!_"

Remus had jumped to block James and was hit with the full force of the spell. As he lay on the floor trying to get his breath back, James threw another spell at Lucius.

            "_Tarantallegra!_"

Lucius's legs started jerking around in a sort of quick dance, much to the hilarity of James and Remus, who had regained his breath. But Sirius wasn't laughing. He walked over to Lucius, his eyes filled with pure, doubtless hatred.

            "_Finite Incantatem._" He murmured softly.

Malfoy's legs stopped twitching around, and he leaned against the wall, beaten and breathless. Sirius leaned toward him and said in a voice barely above a whisper:

            "It's no longer fun to fight you, Malfoy. I suggest you leave before I get truly angry."

Maybe it was something in Sirius's eyes that made Lucius leave. Maybe it was his voice. But before anyone could decide, Lucius Malfoy turned and run down the hall. Sirius then walked away in the opposite direction. James and Remus merely stared. After Sirius's lean back was around the corner and well out of earshot, Remus turned to James with a determined look.

            "I think we should have a talk with Mr. Padfoot this evening, for something is most definitely wrong." 


	3. Sirius Problems

            Sirius couldn't tell them- he just couldn't. Not a word could be spoken of this unpleasant discovery. It's not as though he chose to be this way! And he could hide it. Oh you fool, he thought, when have _you_ ever hidden? It was against his nature- but to tell James! He didn't expect James to understand… Remus would, but Remus was precisely why he couldn't say anything. It was all so complicated…

          Remus was worried about Sirius. Just plain worried- Sirius hadn't been himself all morning. It was strange… Sirius never missed an opportunity to taunt Malfoy- they hated each other! And just walking off without a word… something was hovering around the surface of his mind, but he couldn't place it. The realization that he didn't know was even worse! So unpleasantly frustrating. He'd ask Cassandra, she might be able to help him. On queue, as usual, Cassandra walked through the portrait hole into the common room.

          "Remus, darling- you look upset. Is there anything I could do to help"?

She asked, playfully biting at his neck. Though he shivered with pleasure, he kept his mind on the problem at hand.

          "I wish we could carry on this way, but I do have an actual problem Cassy."

Cassandra tilted her head to the side and stepped around the chair to sit on his lap. She smiled at him.

          "Tell me what it is then, so we can figure it out," then in a whisper, "and get back to playing."

Remus rolled his eyes dramatically.

          "Honestly Sassy-Cassy. I need your help on this one."

          "I know, Remus. I just wanted to see you smile in spite of your troubles. What is it"?

Remus took a deep breath to collect his thoughts.

          "Well, it's Sirius. He's been…"

As though he'd heard them, Sirius came down the stairs. He looked at Remus and Cassandra, then opened his mouth as if to say something but closed it again; thinking better of his words, and went for the door. He didn't, however, make it there. James walked in, flushed from Quidditch practice. He saw Sirius, and his expression became stern.

          "Oh, no you don't Sirius. You're not walking out on us again."

Sirius's eyes narrowed slightly, and he growled menacingly at James

          "Out of my way, James. Don't make me hurt you." 

James was taken aback by the raw anger in his best friend's voice, but he stayed his ground.

          "No Sirius. You will talk to us."

Remus and Cassandra had gotten up from their chair when James had come in. Now Remus spoke. He looked to Cassandra.

          "Cass, you should go upstairs for awhile. I get the feeling Sirius'll calm down if you leave."

Cassandra looked a bit cheated, but left anyways. Remus walked over to his friend and placed a hand on his shoulder.

          "Sirius, if you'll just tell us…"

Sirius shied away from Remus's gentle hands.

          "Don't touch me, Remus."

Remus looked hurt and James appeared merely confused. James tried to turn Sirius's attention away from Remus, sensing his growing hostility.

          "Please Sirius. Listen to me- No matter what's bothering you, you can tell us. We're supposed to be friends. We'll understand."

Sirius's eyes were clouded with both confusion and pain. He knew he would have to tell them- he was trapped. But somehow, James's kind words infuriated him.

          "Will you? I doubt _that_ highly. Your words are merely insults."

Remus looked pleadingly at him. Tears of frustration sprang unbidden to his eyes. He checked them in time, but sought to use these weak emotions to his benefit. Turning Sirius gently to face him, he looked deep into his friend's hardened eyes.

          "Please, Sirius, don't be mad. We're worried about you! And the pain you're harboring is hurting not only yourself, but us too. Let us help you."

Sirius was surprised. Remus looked so miserable, how could he hurt them this way? They would figure it out soon enough anyways. He sighed, and then licked his dry lips. He looked nearly helpless as he gazed at James and Remus. He whispered quietly, more to himself than his friends, 

"This is a hard task I've been allotted."

James and Remus exchanged confused glances. Sirius led them over to the window. A soft breeze rippled his long, black hair. He closed his eyes.

          Remus vaguely thought he looked beautiful. He'd always thought this about Sirius, but then, he found most people rather beautiful. He dismissed it as his inner wolf speaking out. Sirius spoke:

          "No one would expect it of me, that's for sure."

James gave a small laugh,

          "What's that, mate?"

Sirius turned to him, his shocking blue eyes with their deep, quiet fires burning into James soft hazel ones.

          "James, I really would like to tell you and Remus both, but right now I just can't. I'm not sure if even _I _understand; whether or not it's just a phase." He turned to Remus. "I'm truly sorry to have acted so upset before- I'm just so confused lately."

          Sirius smiled, and then wrapped his arms around Remus, then around James. But somehow Remus thought these hard times weren't quite over… 


	4. Anyone Out There?

**As far as short chapters go, I think this one wins. I just want to know if anyone is still interested in this story.**

Cassandra sat on her bed, wondering what could possibly be wrong with Sirius. He was usually the heart and soul of things and full of life-loving vitality. Yes, something was wrong. Cassandra didn't like the way Sirius had looked at Remus. There was something behind his eyes that wasn't anger. Like the way a cat looks at a mouse right before it pounces…

 …

Remus watched Sirius closely during lunch, noting his tense posture. He twitched irritably whenever someone spoke to him. Remus caught James' eye and nodded. They should at the very least take his mind off his problems…

…

Sirius was lost in thought, wondering if he should just come out and tell them. They'd understand, right? Why did it have to be Remus? What was it about him that made him so irresistible? He'd tell him. Today? Why not-he'd figure it out soon enough anyway…


End file.
